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Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Anxiety

Re post:
Anxiety is a disorder that interferes with everyday life.

I think I have always dealt with anxiety since I was little.  I was a worrier, always over thinking about something.  I believe that is why I can be an introvert in some situations, worried about saying the wrong thing, then worrying that I haven’t said anything during the situation…

For me, I am not consumed with anxiety every moment of every day, then I would never have a good day.  There are days when there is a weight on my chest and I hyper think of a particular thing or things, over and over and over again.  I am full of doubt and at times reduced to tears.  There are times I reach out to talk to someone about what is cycling in my head.  In these moments and the person I reach out to I refer to them as talking me off the ledge.  In those anxiety filled moments I am so consumed with my thoughts of negativity and self doubt that I need someone to break it down for me…talk me off the ledge.  Other times I deal with it on my own, usually writing it out in my journal or I just go to sleep and hope that I feel better and the reoccurring thoughts dissipate when I wake up.  I usually refer to it “as a moment in time” and know that it will pass.  I just wish they would stop occurring. It has become worse in the last three years due to circumstances.  I am trying very hard to deal with it, therapy, exercise, medication and self education.

Thank you to those who have been patient with me and who have talked me off the ledge.  I am forever grateful.

Monday, July 31, 2017

My Best List EVER!? Who knew at 42??









I turned 42 yesterday. Not sure how that is suppose to feel? All I know is that I have learned a few things...

1- I have never been happier
2- confidence can be regained
3- grey hair appears everywhere!!!
4- thinking outside the box and putting your own twist on something leads to success 
5- someone with substance is invaluable
6- being healthy is a good thing
7- I am an athlete. Never really was growing up but on my way to my fourth half marathon... And second triathlon
8- oily skin was a horrible shiny pain when I was a teen but now it's helping keep wrinkles away
9- sunscreen is super important. Sorry to my epidermis for burning you so many times
10- old friends/longtime friends are the best
11- I don't have to wash my hair everyday
12- there are great men out there. I am raising one:)
13- don't save stuff for special occasions use it all now. 
14- I am more independent then ever
15- I can do anything
16- fear leads to regret
17- everything in moderation 
18- don't understand tent camping?!? 
19- eat what you like
20- colour makes me happy
21- running is my medicine
22- use what you have
23- ask the cashier how she is doing
24- sitting doing nothing with people you love is the best
25- try everything- adventure wise, food wise you are on your own
26- watching your kids succeed is an awesome high!
27- a nickname means a lot
28- a real book is better than the screen version
29- flowers are good
30- Canada is an amazing country
31- children are sponges
32- tattoos tell a story just ask
33- always someone worse off than you
34- I deserve to be treated well
35- music motivates
36- eat breakfast
37- got an itch scratch it, if you do not have someone to do it for you
38- everyone does it
39- therapy is awesome
40- all the seasons rock
41- I love my body... Too much?
42- chocolate everyday is ok!

Sunday, July 30, 2017

THIS is 40


Love re-visting my blogs of the past. In some ways I have changed, in some ways I remain the same.



Here upon my 40th birthday, are 40 things you may or may not know about me:)


1- I collect the closure tags from bread, milk, bagels etc.  I have a container at home and a bag at work of them.  The bag at work of tags was suppose to be used for a craft? or sorting?  never happened. 

2- I love to do the laundry!  Putting it in, selecting the settings, moving it to the dryer and then folding it (in front of the TV)  Putting it away is another story.

3- I'd love to be a roadie for a band or just go on tour...

4- My new favourite singer: Gin Wigmore  But will always be a PINK fan

5- I'd love to work on an assembly line or be a food prep person (the one who cuts up the veggies, fruit or other ingredients {not the meat}) but I do love the job I have.  I think of my class as my classroom family.  I also am very grateful for the women I work with and the support from my students' parents.

6- Ok maybe I would cut up the meat if I had gloves on.  I think I can touch/clean/prepare anything if I had gloves on.

7- I have no chest (boobs) and I love it!!

8- I wear men's briefs sometimes. So comfy!  Victoria Secret low-rise bikini underwear are my alternative.  I hate thongs/G-strings.

9- Hair growth sucks at 40 (what the heck is going on!) Love laser hair removal:p

10- Not a big athlete but can be your biggest cheerleader:) I played water polo in university actually more like I trained with the water polo team because I only played one game as goalie.  Yes we lost that game but we'd lost every game that season:O)  Loved being goalie so much was goalie for the one season of Futsal I played a few years ago.  We actually won games, thank you very much!  so enjoyed it swollen fingers and all, even when I got the ball in the throat and couldn't talk for a bit!

11- I loved being pregnant.

12- My favourite movie of all time is The Princess Bride.  My favourite colour is purple, my second favourite is navy blue and my third favourite is black.  Favourite number is 2.  My favourite flower is a tulip, any colour

13- A huge multi-tasker.  If I am talking to you on the phone,I am doing 5 other things during that conversation.

14- I love Rockets, Sweet Tarts, real maple syrup and of course chocolate.

15- Wanna get my nose pierced, tiny little stud.

16- I was hit by a van when I was 5 years old, when I was getting off the school bus.  What I remember is waking up and my Mom feeding me ice cream and then I remember them wheeling me up to my room and my Dad commenting how the whole bed fit into the elevator.

17- I have three tattoos and considering another: this quote "For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first." Suzanne Collins The Hunger Games

18- My kids are my everything!!

19- I wish I could make money from my art.

20- I went to Brock University, majoring in Child Studies, I have ECE equivalency and a Montessori diploma

21- I run and want to be better at it.

22- My front tooth is dead.  I've had a root canal.  At the time in order to stop it from going brown my dentist rubbed hydrogen peroxide on it--it burned my gums.  I had 16 teeth removed as a kid and I had braces and a head gear

23- I use men's deodorant.  I stink and it stops the stink, also it is easier to find deodorant in the men's section. 

24- I will travel to Australia, NYC, Vegas, San Antonio, Greece and Hawaii one day!  I have been to the Dominican, Aruba, England, Italy

25- Love the smell of cinnamon and also spearmint.  Smelling these scents puts me in a better mood

26- I want to go in a hot air balloon, bungee jump and/or skydive.  I would go in a shark cage too.

27- I do not drink a lot (anymore).  I do not like wine or beer: drink of choice a rye & Coke. Or a Sambuca shooter (on fire)

28- I have texture issues: I will not eat eggs or pumpkin pie cuz of their texture or bananas

29- I LOVE going to an airport.  Whether it is to go somewhere or just to pick someone up.  I find it exciting.

30- Boudoir pix-done 'em! To celebrate losing 11lbs of baby weight.

31- I would get Botox for the line between my eyes.  It is from thinking so hard all these years.

32- I am terrified of bats but have held a tarantula,  a python, scorpion and cockroach.

33- I have never done an illegal drug...

34- Suffered from postpartum depression after my first child but didn't know it at the time.

35- I drink approx. 4 cups of tea everyday.  I also love to eat.  I do not like to cook but if someone makes me good food I LOVE IT!!

36- Have been judged and put down by others based on religious believes or my lack of a religion

37- Extreme introvert.  The friends I have are very very dear to me.

38- Childhood: was really really good.

39- Nicknames I have had: Rob, Robbino, Wild Bush, Bandit, Robynski Comaneci, Curly, Oottat

40- Been to a psychic and she was right!

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Not My Birthday but ...

So this was a blog from my 41st birthday and I wanted to go through it and see what I can cross off:

I turned 41 today!
Here are forty one things I plan to do this year:
Skydive (booked and ready) Done read about it here
Bungee Jump Hmmmm not yet but there is this place in Quebec...
Zip line with B&D DONE! Read here
Go to the CN Tower DONE! Click here
Visit Tremblant Done it twice 
Win my triathlon I was first in my first Try a tri! (I was the only one in my age group)
Figure out what I want to be when I grow up Toddler Assistant Directress feels mighty good to me!
Fall in love Robyn 💖 Paul
Get stronger Always working on this one... six pack might be my next goal...
Be healthier Again always working on this one
Be smarter A work in progress
Make good choices for me and my children Everyday
Make more art Not yet
Grow an awesome veggie garden NO thanx , not interested anymore
Get another tattoo? Got two See them here
Paint my bedroom nouveau boudoir:) Done
Get my umbilical hernia fixed Poppy
Eat at really good restaurants Too many to mention but most of them had Thai food
Hangout at the beach more often Hello CUBA 

Grow my hair longer Actually cut it shorter but the goal is to grow it longer from NOW on
Read a book I am reading a lot more this summer See what I am reading here
Write a script for a TV show Hmmm maybe a book...
Travel more Oh ya Las Vegas and Cuba
Drive slower Sometimes
Sleep better Haven't achieved this
Continue to eat in bed! Stopped doing this one
Fix my front steps Done sorta
Bounce more on the trampoline Not so much cuz of this
Laugh just as much as last year or more Yep
See more good movies Haven't seen anything spectacular lately
Dance and sing more often Still a goal
Drink less mix drinks with pop Don't drink at all
Smile a lot Depends on the day
Botox? Not yet...
Go horseback riding Maybe soon... Stella & Molly may I join you?
Kiss - missed it for so long really enjoy it Done done and hope it doesn't ever stop...Paul
Floss more often Crap...got a dentist appt and still don't floss enough
Write better ... For my blog I am trying
Get a mammogram Will do: this year
Have a better race time for my next 1/2 marathon Very happy with my 1/2 this year
Be happy Some days this one is hard  #depression


I like making these types of lists.  They let you set out your goals, passions, dreams and wishes.  And hopefully help you achieve them.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Going to the church and we're going to....

So this happened on the Easter long weekend in April,


Going to the church and we're going....





To be a witness

I was a witness at the wedding of my friends, Susan and Rob.



Fastest planned wedding ever! 

Engaged on Friday,
Wedding dress bought on Sunday,
Wedding on Saturday

ONE WEEK!

It was beautiful.


Thank you guys!


Friday, July 14, 2017

Road trip 2017!

All packed up in the Georganas van!  Heading to Peterborough to Grandma & Grandpa.

Stella's request: the beach!


Then we went to the zoooooo! Lemurs, sea otters, squirrel monkey's and a pretty peacock were some of the favourites.

Daphne in the batting cages.  She only got hit twice:(

Uh why don't you play baseball? 

Love this moment: B had just finished helping Daphne do up her helmet.

Get ready....set...go!

Not the best memory for Daphne:( a little off roding was done.

My favourite: family meals outside


Thursday, July 13, 2017

this is how i sleep:



When i am alone

i fall asleep

Watching/listening something on my iPad/iPhone.

It helps me shut my mind off.